getting motivation to go to the gym. It’s been a good two weeks.
I was diagnosed with sever depression back in 2005. My doc told me that I was the worst case she had ever seen in someone that was still able to function. I guess it would depend on what you call functioning. I was a fuckin zombie.
I say that to say this: we as Black people are sick. I would say…
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in March of 2012 after suffering in silence for 8 years. I love this post. I wish more of our people would speak out. You are not alone and it is okay to seek help!
Thank you. I know there people suffering in silence and it is ruining their chances of a decent life.
My cousin killed himself after suffering. He couldn’t take it anymore and he was only 21.
Talk people .
I had mine all throughout middle school (cant remember the years). It first started with puberty, getting exposed to situations I was no where near ready to experience, and then I just became angry as fuck my father(deceased) would never be able to help me deal now that life was getting real for me. Don’t get me wrong I have a FANTASTIC mother, but still. A father is a father. I was soooooo numb for those three years. Emotionless as could be and ALWAYS sleeping because being awake was just so dreadful to me. 8th grade “I snapped out of it”. & started being “popular” for actually being cool as fuck instead of the mascot of truly not giving a shit.
High school was all good. However, I’m in my 7th month of college now. Last month on the train ride home from class, I started thinking about how trapped I felt financial wise when it came to whether I should keep going or drop out. I thought that if my situation doesn’t change one way or another I’d relapse into that emotionless state. Thirty minutes later on that same ride, I had to fight back tears when I realized I already have. It feels like 75% of me is depressed all over again, but I’m trying to cling on to what remains and ignore that rest. I dunno, fuck this. Life is starting to become to much for me again.
We don’t talk about it at home and it’s killing us. How many times have I heard “Don’t say that”, “The doctor says your depressed” or “You’ve gotta fight it”. The problem is, all of these are said with the utmost concern from highly involved and loving family from a place of faith. Believe and you shall receive. The fear is of speaking things into existence. If you don’t speak it, you don’t give the devil power over you and you can overcome it. But we’re dying because it’s not enough.
I speak my truth. I was diagnosed with depression two summers ago. The women in my family have a history with undiagnosed minor and acute depression. I know this both because of the history of repetitions in behavior from generation to generation that I see and because of the coping mechanisms of the women in my family who are still alive. My uncle killed himself. There is much generational trauma here. I’m fully weaned off of medication for the first time since then. My intention is to break the cycle of trauma in my family so that I may live a better life and if I have children, their lives will be free from it as well.